From Whining to Winning: How to Transform Problems into Power


     “Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.”
—Lewis Smedes (1921-2002)

Dear Beloved,

While we have a need to release what is in our hearts, we must be mindful of spending too much time on our trauma and trouble. Talking about what hurts us is cathartic but it doesn’t change, improve, or solve the issue.

It’s paramount that once we have discussed our problem, we shift our focus to solutions and how we can move forward. Investing our time and energy to extracting life lessons from negative situations allows us to transform the bad into good and discover the treasures in our trials. No, it’s not always easy to do this, but this is a critical step to healing and finding the purpose in our pain.

Waddling in victimhood shackles us to our problems; it’s like being stuck in emotional mud! However, we can emancipate ourselves from stress by being GRATEFUL that we survived and using our experiences to CREATE something BETTER for ourselves and others.

It goes without saying that the past can never be erased or undone, so why spend all our time ruminating about it? It’s therapeutic to look back only if we want to discover and/or uncover a lesson, but at some point, we must refuse to resurrect the dead things and give life to the “now” and future.   

When we stop whining, we can win by acknowledging that we were affected by whatever, but declaring we will not be reduced and/or permanently paralyzed because of what happened to us (or whatever mistakes we made).

Above all, seek God’s wisdom, guidance, forgiveness, healing… for the right steps to take. Each situation is different and sometimes cookie-cut therapies are not effective. God’s unfailing love is the most essential ingredient for letting go and discovering restoration and redemption. For every tear you shed, our Heavenly Father will give you a thousand moments of joy!

With love,

          C. Chérie Hardy

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