Lessons on Accepting the Word, "No"

 

“The oldest, shortest words, 'yes' and 'no', are those which require the most thought.”

—Pythagoras (570 BC – 495 BC)

Countless times, as a business owner, I have witnessed what happens when parents tell their children, “No”. While most understandably seem disappointed or sad, they generally respect their parents’ answer and walk away quietly. However, last week, a boy, who appeared to be around eight or nine years old, attempted to steal a book that his parents had refused to purchase. As he was leaving my business, I called out to him gently and asked him to return the book. For a moment, I thought he would because he stopped and looked into my eyes, however, instead he pivoted, and continued walking. Thankfully, when his mother saw that he was trying to put the book in a shopping bag, she returned it. That is when the boy completely lost control of his emotions; he cried, shouted, and stomped his feet. Eventually, the parents placated their son by buying another (less expensive) book. That stopped his tears, but my heart ached wondering what would happen if he never grew from an emotionally infantile state and never learned how to accept that an integral part of life is not getting everything he wanted.

No human being can boast of hearing, “Yes” 100 % of the time. This is good because our world would be far worse than it is if people could do whatever their hearts desired. The truth is that accepting “no” in a constructive way is one of the most empowering and liberating things people can learn to do. Sometimes hearing “no” is not easy; we might even experience sadness or frustration, but the good news is that we will live. The word, “No”, is an effective life preserver that often prevents us from drowning in our carnal desires because we don’t NEED everything we want anyway. In fact, some of things we want are harmful and take us away from doing good.

Rarely would we die or go blind if someone tells us, “No”. We won’t lose a limb or our hair by not having our way. On the contrary, we experience incomprehensible peace when we appreciate what we have instead of focusing on what we don’t. It is not about being complacent, but it’s important for us to express and nurture gratitude for what’s already in our hand instead of what’s in the bush.

At the same time, whenever we hear, “No”, we should set new goals and take actions to realize our dreams, while knowing that if the outcome is different from what we expected, we won’t suffer unless we choose to. Furthermore, “Yes” could be in our future. For people who have faith in our Creator, delay does not equate denial. If what we want is righteous, we ask Him to teach us how to be patient—how to work and wait because the best is yet to come.

When humans learn how to respect and accept, “No”, our world will improve. At the heart of so much senseless violence is a selfish person who chose to hurt others simply because he could not have his way. That is because emotionally immature people misinterpret, “No” as failure (losing) or rejection when it could be the opposite in disguise: success or protection.

Lastly, keep this in mind the next time you experience a no: if you were living without something in the past or present, you can continue living without it in the future. Believe that “NO” can be an acronym for “Next Opportunity” or “New Options.”

With Love,

C. Chérie Hardy

Copyright © 2021 by C. Chérie Hardy